> Even that reef knot gif eludes me
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These statements are in contradiction. The reef knot IS your shoelace knot. If you can tie your shoelaces, you can tie a reef knot, by definition.
Specifically, a "shoelace tie" is the slipped reef knot. "Slipped" means that you leave little loops so that its easier to untie later. Get rid of the "loops" in your shoelace tie, and you'll make a fine (more permanent) reef knot.
This method works really well for most because closing your eyes removes all extraneous info. You see the model of the knot and the instructions for tying it, not the messy tangled up physical rope that you aren’t even using yet.
Bowlines can be used instead of figure eights, but they can shake open if you aren’t careful, which is obviously bad.
The taughtline hitch is an amazingly useful knot... but I flub it most of the time. Similarly, the square knot -- even if I take my time, it's a granny with about 45% probability. These aren't knots my life has depended on, and I don't have the muscle memory.