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> let it keep restarting as it crashes?!

Yes, "let it keep restarting while it crashes and while I investigate the issue" is MUCH preferred to "everything's down and my boss is on my ass to fix the memory issue."

The bug exists either way, but in one world my site is still up while I fix the bug and prioritize it against other work and in another world my site is hard-down.

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That only works if the bug actually gets fixed. When you have normalized the idea that restarting the cluster fixes a problem — all of the sudden, you don’t have a problem anymore. So now your motivation to get the bug properly fixed has gone away.

Sometimes feeling a little pain helps get things done.

You and I wish that's what happened in real life. Instead, people now normalize the behavior thinking it'll sort itself out automatically over time without ever trying to fix it.

Self-healing systems are good but only if you have someone who is keeping track of the repeated cuts to the system.

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