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Comment by computator | Hacker News Reader

You might be surprised to hear that Paul Graham, creator of Hacker News, recommends that book:

"If you want to learn what people want, read Dale Carnegie's How to Win Friends and Influence People. When a friend recommended this book, I couldn't believe he was serious. But he insisted it was good, so I read it, and he was right. It deals with the most difficult problem in human experience: how to see things from other people's point of view, instead of thinking only of yourself."{1}

I have huge respect for Graham and began to read it based on his recommendation, but gave up about half way. It's so tedious, repetitive, and obvious that I genuinely can't understand what people see in it.

{1} http://paulgraham.com/bronze.html

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> It's so tedious, repetitive, and obvious that I genuinely can't understand what people see in it.

I think that can be said for a lot of books that are popular. It's a bit like applied math vs. pure math. In pure math, applied math is often seen as a "natural consequence". And yet, applied math is what most people view as useful and moreover, pure mathematicians often don't know how to apply mathematics to engineering or physics. Personally, I agree with you, but I think that what is obvious is not always precise, and what is precise is sometimes not used.

I have a sort of moral objection to these kind of books too, but somehow you can both see these books as a sort of moral "cheating" and you can see these books as a useful way to better you relationships with other people (and both viewpoints have merit). I didn't read How to Win Friends and Influence People, but my comment is based on my experience with trying to read *What they don't teach you at Harvard Business School." [1]

[1] By Mark H. McCormack.

> It's so tedious, repetitive, and obvious that I genuinely can't understand what people see in it.

same! but i finished it anyway. it was during my speed-reading / audiobook transition. i have now become a normal reader again :)

to your point though, in retrospect, i think it all depends on when in your life/career you read a recommended book. seems to me that by the time you got to how to win friends, you have already read a lot and learned most of the "obvious" things in the book.

Gerald Weinberg, whose writing I respect, made the same recommendation. But I haven't followed up.

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