Family therapists know this stuff already. Tell her that you want to make your marriage everything it could be and more, etc, etc, and get her to a therapist, where she'll learn it for herself. Worked for me ;)
"Hunny, I appreciate that you want to help me remember what needs doing, but it's overwhelming if you tell me as soon as I come home from a long day at work. I know I have a habit of forgetting, so let's make a deal: if I forget to do something come 9 PM, I'll take on one of your chores the next day. Does that sound fair to you?"
Or if your SO can take the hint from humor: "If I had a nickel for every time you told me to take out the trash when I was about to do it..."
This actually happens a lot... and then you don't get the credit for doing it, because she told you to do it :/
- Not that I hear that from anyone. Perhaps different strokes for different folk applies here? - (PS: I love you honey)