I suspect the distinction between tables and data frames (and arguing about query languages) is from people who have lost sight of the important things when dealing with data - the relational model and a system that supports relational algebra. Beyond that, features and optimisations need to be justified in terms of today's (and tomorrow's) needs which are specific to the data. The only major issue with SQL is a lack of support for something like R's tidyverse gather() and spread() operations which could be considered as missing operations in relational algebra.