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Comment by jcims | Hacker News Reader

This isn’t a sympathy grab, just a present anecdote. My wife died 27 hours ago after a long bout with cancer.

I’m going to pay probably upwards of $15k for her funeral because i didn’t plan ahead and there’s no time after the fact. I’m fortunately in a position to do so and am paying for what i want knowing that I’m being taken advantage of. Lesson learned.

If you are planning to go an alternate route i would strongly advise making complete arrangements while you are healthy. You're going to be dealing with heavily entrenched local practitioners and it could be an uphill battle.

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I am so sorry for your loss. When my mother died recently I called the local funeral home, and spoke with some I graduated high school with. I wanted ONLY a cremation, no service. $35k. I almost accepted but called around. I ended up finding a “cremation society” that was a DBA of an existing funeral home that basically segmented the market. $3500. EXACT SAME SERVICE.

I almost beat the shit out of the hometown funeral director.

I usually don’t like the sappy stuff online but I am very sorry for your loss. I absolutely cannot imagine the pain and hurt you must be experiencing. I hope you can find some kind of peace in the special bound you two share.

Too late to edit. Here's your call to action on this.

Open this link in a new tab right now - https://www.google.com/search?q=funeral+homes+near+me

Pick two of the places listed and call them right now. There will almost certainly be an answering service (24hr isn't a gimmick, funeral homes collect bodies around the clock). Tell them you need a call back tomorrow to talk about alternate sourcing of caskets and vaults. Vaults may not be federally required but many cemeteries do require them. They can easily exceed the cost of the casket.

Optionally report your experience/results back here.

When I was presented with the same situation, I was clear with my budget and had to call two places before I found someone that would work.

First of all - condolences.

Second of all - why would the funeral be $15k? Are funeral services particularly expensive in the US? When my dad died few years ago we also didn't have anything planned, I think the total cost was about ~$1000, most of which was for transport of the body to the crematorium, the urn cost like $200 for a simple stainless steel one, and the funeral itself was "free" with the local church.

With a burial you also have the costs for the casket ($1500-$5000), the vault ($1200-$20K), the cemetary plot ($1200), embalming/transport/recordkeeping/etc ($500-$1500) and if you have a service then you may have some additional venue fees.

You almost never need embalming. Frequently funeral homes will fraudulently attempt to tell you otherwise.

Funeral homes are legally required to allow you to bring a coffin or alternate container that has been purchased from a third party (or built yourself).

Funeral homes must provide you with a general price list, containing the exact price of each item or service.

See:

- https://www.consumer.ftc.gov/articles/0300-ftc-funeral-rule

- https://www.ftc.gov/tips-advice/business-center/guidance/com...

This is all great advice and I will likely do a better job of preparing for my own demise. Trying to deal with all of this from zero after a loved one dies is not a recipe for success.

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