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Comment by KingOfCoders | Hacker News Reader

What question in particular do you find not appropriate?

“What did you want to be when you grow up” feels a bit out of touch.

Yes might be, and I would agree. Although it could be a great opener for finding out what the person wants. I have often found it the hardest thing to help find out what the person I had 1on1s with wanted to become (or not, e.g. a manager). Sometimes people have a clear vision, sometimes it took a year. Everyone was happier though.

I guess it depends on what kind of connection you have with your manager. I saw managers who would rather fire people if they feel they would be happier ion another place.

The list would be way too long.

In my opinion, the so-called 1 on 1 meeting should only be used when an employee is clearly on the wrong trajectory and a course correction is needed.

Good feedback is difficult, what I've seen was very often high noise and low signal. Forcing feedback when not necessary will not lead to added value for the company, only mildly boring and stressful waste of time, in the best case.

Ha! But you can prevent the wrong trajectory by acting before. And, one of the ways to do that is honest conversation with your co-worker.

As soon as a wrong trajectory is detected, yes, feedback is needed.

But not before.

How often is someone on the perfect trajectory without ever discussing their concerns or desires?

You don’t ask all of them at once - one or two of them may get used in a week.

Feedback comes because you’re talking on a regular (weekly or bi-weekly) basis. If the employee is on the wrong trajectory, you’ve waited far too long to talk!

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