Hilarious piece, but I don't think the analogy is a good fit.

The Good Samaritan ("William Wolcott") is asking people to offer homeless folks money in exchange for labor, instead of giving cash handouts without anything in return. In contrast, Hoffman is offering "services" in exchange for equity. Hoffman is not offering founders any money, and since VCs are for-profit, Hoffman is not doing the founders a charitable favor.

It's also a disservice to founders to compare their startups to the homeless ("Ed Schenk"), since most founders are very much willing to put in work to make their businesses successful.