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Have you compared the price to say, hosting your own website, finding your own marketing platform, finding a payment provider, and managing logistical challenges, all for 12% of the gross income of your product?

I can see why people would be frustrated, but you're getting a whole lot for using their service.

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I do host my own website and manage all of those things, but it's not a question of the cost it's the fact that I can't opt out. It impairs my ability to predict & control my expenses, and it forces me to subsidize Etsy's ad campaigns that compete directly with my own website.

You can opt out: don’t sell on Etsy.

The sad thing is that many successful Etsy sellers do have their own websites and also sell through other platforms besides Etsy. So they have the costs you mention + Etsy costs.

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