I agree with you on your gripes with COCs, WOKE, etc...
They are political constructs to lock people out instead of integrating people. Individuals that force these COCs on groups of people want a political instrument to gain power over others.
COCs are also used often to try and contain perceived powergrabs.
In your case, with your gripes over multi platform, you have the right to complain about that, I or others have the right to either ignore you or debate you over it, waving a COC is overkill and shows indeed fear of you trying to convince members of that community of your point.
Things like language, unless direct threats of violence, should not be an argument to exclude people from debate.
This is my opinion, b.t.w. I have none whatsoever connection with the community where this issue is happening.
It is however a reason why I hardly join discussions of any kind on most platforms on the internet.
For you the question is: "Do I really want to be around these people?"