Chances are, if you have a server capable of running the Elixir + web framework stack, storage space for cached images, and a proxying web server, Postgres probably isn't much of an overhead on top of that.
Bare in mind that each fedi instance dosen't only host the content generated by users, but also whatever content they repeat/reply to. The fact it needs to be stored (or cached) is one reason why there's so much blocklisting/defederation - because people may not want to host certain content from instances known to commonly host it. It may even store more from the public timeline (I'm not sure about the specifics of Pleroma). Nevertheless, even with five users, you can fill up quite a lot of space in a database and on the filesystem.
Edit: nevermind, Philomena has a table for the many-to-many relationship and uses Elasticsearch for the heavy lifting.
https://shon.github.io/2015/12/21/postgres_array_performance...
https://gist.github.com/joevandyk/031cf5812bd656887623
To search for a post with multiple tags, you need to do a join for each tag. You don't have that problem with arrays.
Sadly, we can't just use SQLite because we use Postgres-only features like jsonb extensively.
Really all we’re talking about here is whether or not the thing that writes the files is in-process or an adjacent process.
If they can manage to run Pleroma, they can manage to run a Postgres beside it. I think the hurdle you are describing is to self-hosting anything in general. Standing up a self-hosted postgres is actually easier/simpler/better supported than some random weird elixir app.
The "if they can manage to run Pleroma" is not a very helpful approach to actually get more people to run Pleroma.
I suspect a soft fork or subversion targeted towards small instances might be more sustainable, but that obviously requires more developers to build and maintain that.