Often I have had a similar struggle to the one you described because I have not found my own personal reason for being grateful. I know now that it's because I was often living inside the narrative of people who were close to me, that was not my own. Being captive in this 'not-self' narrative has been quite deceiving. Taking back my own narrative has been super powerful for me.

In other words, I no longer think I am weird for not feeling joyful or being grateful for things for which I have not yet been given the chance to ask myself if I actually am grateful for them, or if I actually personally value them at all. Being stuck in someone else's narrative, or a cultural narrative, is to me like being in a jail, because the narrative will not correspond to my feelings, because it's not mine.

I now use the Nonviolent Communication set of strategies to listen to my own feelings, and use them to learn which of my human needs are unmet.

I also had Compassion Focused Therapy, which brought me back from the dead.

The writing of Francis Weller has inspired me beyond belief. If you're interested, this is a taster: https://www.thesunmagazine.org/issues/478/the-geography-of-s...

Or if you prefer listening, I love this podcast with him: http://charleseisenstein.org/podcasts/new-and-ancient-story-...