The real fix is to fix capitalism, not write you a check every month for being born. We need to enforce fair markets, fair wages etc.
For those at the very bottom, I want dignity, a free education, and if still unsuccessful access to a low skill job that can pay basic bills.
Capitalism is about the accumulation and use of capital. It's amoral. It doesn't care about the unemployment rate, poverty rate, or health outcomes. It is just fine with child labor and seven day work weeks. It will offshore labor, hire contractors, and use money for buybacks before investment if the numbers make sense. Capitalism is not the answer here. Policy is. And that's fine. We can have both.
You are going to have to find a different way to solve those problems than wage slavery.
You write that as if it's some kind of natural law, as if the second clause is _obviously_ more absurd than the first. It's that the case and, if so, why?
It's not an absurd thought at all, it's a very natural solution to propose in environments like we have today. It's also been tried in many different countries in many different time periods. Leads to failure every single time.