Dynamic CSS to me is an abomination. CSS is not a programming language and I doubt treating it like one will enhance portability and suddenly inspire the OP to invent the "holy grail" of CSS layouts: A simple variable height multi-column design with a header and a footer.
Come on, give the web and the front-end community a little respect. Don't use javascript for essential design/layout work, you don't need it, never needed it for years. You don't need hacks or CSS3 to build a fantastic website. You can float and use absolute positioning to your hearts content. You can keep your stylesheet organized and even support mobile and print media with it.
@cletus Vertical-align:middle does work differently on block-display elements. Use it in conjunction with display: table-cell or look at http://phrogz.net/css/vertical-align/index.html
I consider the OP post a little flame-batish and uninformed. I could say this about Lisp in an exaggerated manner: I hate it, because it does support labda, though it has its drawbacks and all those brackets look silly and confusing. I haven't really studied Lisp, but it could benefit from listening to my problems (which are real).