The private and public lives of Albert Einstein
the-tls.co.uk
the-tls.co.uk
As the pretend hero, Malcolm Reynolds, said "It's my estimation that every man ever got a statue made of him was one kind of a son of a bitch or another."
There's a difference between 'hero worship' and 'hero inspiration', IMO. The difficult part is getting rid of the former while not destroying the latter in the process.
Many social media users are very self-conscious and calculating with the "image" they are building with particular accounts.
It's all feeding into this idea of perfect infallible human beings, as supposedly showcased on social media, but in reality, such humans simply don't exist.
Particularly in the context that often it's our flaws that define us as humans, not being able to admit to having any does not strike me as a healthy and rational attitude.
For instance, musicians one really likes, one projects them into images of saints. Then they're out their putting selfies on, sharing insipid quotes or just generally seeking validation, and the mirage crumbles a bit.
1. that my clothes and laundry are kept in good order; 2. that I will receive my three meals regularly in my room; 3. that my bedroom and study are kept neat, and especially that my desk is left for my use only.
B. You will renounce all personal relations with me insofar as they are not completely necessary for social reasons. Specifically, You will forego:
1. my sitting at home with you; 2. my going out or travelling with you.
C. You will obey the following points in your relations with me:
1. you will not expect any intimacy from me, nor will you reproach me in any way; 2. you will stop talking to me if I request it; 3. you will leave my bedroom or study immediately without protest if I request it.
D. You will undertake not to belittle me in front of our children, either through words or behavior."
http://www.openculture.com/2013/12/albert-einstein-imposes-o... and I try and be nicer.
Einstein may have been smart, but he was a really awful person.
Saying someone is boolean "good" or "bad" is of course complex - perhaps beyond utility. But to the extent a moral evaluation is being made of a person (unless your point is no such evaluation can or should ever be made?) I don't see how their conduct in their romantic relationships could be exempted?
Yes, it does. Abusing your spouse is one of the worst forms of abuse, especially during that time, because they can't really get themselves out of that situation. Cheating's a more intense version of any other breaking of commitment. A person who consistently breaks commitment is absolutely an awful person.
There are however many other metrics of what makes someone good and bad in a moral and human sense.
Sure. A child-beater can donate millions to charity. An anti-consumer monopolist can donate billions. A rapist can volunteer at homeless shelters. None of these are good people: their worst aspects are inexcusable.
So please, lay off the "if you ever cheat on your wife you must be a piece of human garbage" nonsense.
Do it multiple times to multiple wives, you're definitely human garbage.
You can't magically compartmentalize away being a terrible person solely because you're only terrible to a single person who has very little power. If a person who tortures someone—just a single person—has good actions outside of the person they have locked up in their basement, they're still a bad person.
Not during the early 1900s, which is what's being discussed here. Also, "any time she or he wants to" is a complete misrepresentation of today's situation, as well.
And no, cheating on someone sexually or romantically is not the same as abusing them in any legal sense,
I didn't claim it was abusive, I claimed it was a terrible thing to do. I claimed that his abusive behavior was abusive, which is true.
Your entire argument is based around strawmanning against an argument that wasn't being made.
Also we're talking about 100 years ago in Berlin. It's a bit perilous to judge their relationship by our modern standards. I would say things have changed vastly for the better. I shudder to think how people in 100 years would view my lifestyle.
Edit: the "it was different time" is popular retort, but it rarely takes into account actual customs and realities of the time back. People just tend to assume that whatever someone else criticizes was unopposed standard back at the time, because it would feel good and was convenient. Societies back at time were as complicated as ours, often had strong standards of behavior - which just like in ours was often not followed in practice or lead to problems.
They were not "just like us except worst". Case in point, even if intra-family violence was way more common, both against kids (I don't mean light spanking I mean actual sever abuse) and women, it was criticized and seen as wrong too (and as such meant to be in-family secret).
The only things I know from my own experience: people resort to violence more quickly when stressed, and when its easier to hide. This doesn't really seem to have changed over the years. Its just easier to suppress yourself and others with the abundance of toys, media and tools available today, and its easier for people to find out you're mistreating others. Heck, if the current crisis is showing anything, its how tons of families can't stand being together for a long time, from complaining about kids to complaining having to share your room with your spouse. Culture has changed, but we're still the same animals we were 100 years ago.
Similarly, when it comes to emotions and social skills, what made a good spouse back then still makes a good spouse today. Treating each other like people, being supportive, allowing the other to excel instead of setting them up for failure, stimulating joy instead of frustration and sadness. The same goes for being a good parent, in supporting your children and stimulating positive reinforcement instead of negative reinforcement. Sure, our understanding on an academic level has increased, but that doesn't explain the similarities between then and now.
And frankly, I don't need a comparison between "the worst then" and "the worst now" to realize you should do your best for someone you share your life with a majority of the time. That 'best' has barely changed.
OK, found it https://raffertysrules.blog/2011/04/18/donts-for-husbands-do...
Extract, make of it what you will:
Advice for Wives
Don’t interpret too literally the ‘obey’ of the Marriage Service. Your husband has no right to control your individuality.
Don’t let your husband feel that you are a ‘dear little woman’, but no good intellectually. If you find yourself getting stale, wake up your brain.
Don’t keep your sweetest smiles and your best manners for outsiders; let your husband come first.
Don’t grumble because his idea of work differs from yours. If he works hard at anything, let him do it his own way, and be satisfied.
Don’t refuse to see your husband’s jokes. They may be pretty poor ones, but it won’t hurt you to smile at them.
Don’t allow yourself to get into the habit of dressing carelessly when there is ‘only’ your husband to see you. Depend upon it he has no use for faded tea-gowns and badly dressed hair, and he abhors the sight of curling pins as much as other men do. He is a man after all, and if his wife does not take the trouble to charm him, there are plenty of other women who will. [Ouch!]
Advice for Husbands
Don’t refuse to get up and investigate in the night if your wife hears an unusual noise, or fancies she smells fire or escaping gas. She will be afraid of shaming you by getting up herself, and will lie awake working herself into a fever. This may be illogical, but it’s true.
Don’t be surprised, or annoyed, or disappointed, to find, after treating your wife for years as a feather-brain, that you have made her one, and that she fails to rise to the occasion when you need her help.
Don’t belittle your wife before visitors. You may think it a joke to speak of her little foibles, but she will not easily forgive you.
Don’t refuse your wife’s overtures when next you meet if you have unfortunately had a bit of a breeze. Remember it costs her something to make them, and if you weren’t a bit of a pig, you would save her the embarrassment by making them yourself.
Don’t chide your wife in public, whatever you may feel it necessary to do in private. She will not easily forgive you for having witnesses to her discomfiture.
Don’t call your wife a coward because she is afraid of a spider. Probably in a case of real danger she would prove to be quite as brave as you.
So I am not claiming that Einstein's demands were normal 100 years ago (We can surmise that they likely were not given that Maric asked for a divorce instead). I'm not saying that we should look to their personal life as any kind of positive example. I'm only saying that I know they were working on an incredibly different set of cultural assumptions than I am. In their time, I don't know if they would have been judged by their peers as progressive or regressive. I judge them regressive, but what the heck is that worth?
"Your husband has no right to control your individuality // Don’t belittle your wife before visitors // Don’t call your wife a coward because she is afraid of a spider. Probably in a case of real danger she would prove to be quite as brave as you"
This makes you want to barf? I mean, this is as good advice now as it ever was, and there are plenty of men & women who fail to follow it today. Other items are poor by today's terms, but you're dismissing it all as barf-making.
> I judge them regressive, but what the heck is that worth?
It's worth lots. Those who don't judge permit bad stuff to happen. Keep on judging, and change the world for the better.
Anyway I'm not offering this in the spirit of debate but in sharing. As a minority myself, I understand that we all stew in the pot of the majority and the powerful. In order for someone to extend an olive branch and offer you back your humanity, it had to have been taken from you first.
> ...in father knows best clothes
Both books were written by a woman https://www.amazon.co.uk/Blanche-Ebbutt/e/B0034NHXDW
> It's not clever manners to refrain from controlling your spouse's individuality
I just don't know what to say. It's not acceptable, but people tried to then, they try to now, what is your complaint about pointing out it's wrong?
Your last sentence doesn't help - what minority are you in and why does it matter? The rest seems so negative and helpless
Not meant personally but I am confused by your response.
My chain of responses is meant to highlight this tension. That I can personally find something reprehensible in 2020, but taken in it's cultural or historical context, also find it enlightened or inspiring. In the USA we have an increasingly militant progressivism and we close ourselves off to our own history if we can only judge things by one set of standards.