Did anyone else think this was a joke language at first? My initial impression was that it was an esoteric language which was tongue-in-cheek passing of its oddities as language features.

Firstly, there's the name: chaos, which evokes the opposite of what my code to look like.

Secondly, the first three "features" all come across as deliberately goofy to me. The first two promise seeming implausible things: zero cyclomatic complexity and always 100% test coverage. The justifications for these promises seem bizarre: only function returns allow decision making? (A seemingly terrible place to make decisions) One test is always sufficient to have coverage? It isn't object-oriented? (Obviously, a lot more to functional then that)