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Comment by collyw | Hacker News Reader

I bet a human equivalent would sell well to fathers of teenage girls.

The standard cultural joke that fathers are really into preventing their daughters (but not sons) from having sex is messed up.

Due to their youth and inexperience, we generally try to shield teenagers from the most serious consequences of their actions. Unfortunately, we can't do this with the biological consequences of pregnancy. That's why it's natural to put more effort into preventing daughters from having sex.

Instead of trying to prevent daughters from having sex, parents need to educate their daughters on fertility cycles.

Women are only fertile for a limited amount of time during each cycle. Sympto-thermal fertility tracking methods, as described in the book "Taking Charge of Your Fertility" by Toni Weschler, empower women to understand exactly when in their cycles they are fertile.

Understanding your personal cycle of fertility means you can accurately predict your period, understand precisely when you have ovulated, know when you are fertile and infertile in your cycle, and avoid the side effects of hormonal birth control.

I have personally used sympto-thermal fertility tracking as my exclusive method of birth control within a relationship for 2 years.

Of course this works, but most people who want to prepare their teenagers for the consequences of a sex life will push for condoms and possibly additional birth control.

Pregnancy is just one consequence, obviously.

Culturally, a lot of people still would rather use tactics intended (with whatever level of efficacy) to prevent teenagers from being sexually active altogether.

This is all true but unfortunately in our society we seem to have decided that no one could possibly be responsible enough to follow such a self-monitored schedule and instead the responsible thing to do is just tell people it doesn't work.

Like our gov and the WHO telling us not to wear masks recently.

Most women in my experience are pretty regular and you can trivially avoid having sex for an exta few days out of the month. Coupled with "external finishes" i have a feeling this is actually a valid method of birth control for responsible couples.

>I have personally used sympto-thermal fertility tracking as my exclusive method of birth control within a relationship for 2 years.

Are you sure neither of you is sterile?

This method, while effective, is likely to be a significant frustration for the woman in this situation, given that cyclical high fertility usually coincides with high sex drive.

On fertile days you use a condom. Simple as that.

Well, there is one way. It's called abortion. But most people still agree that prevention is a better option.

I wouldn't call surgical intervention and long-term emotional cost a very effective "shield," would you? It's an unfortunate mitigation at best.

In the 1960s they invented something called "the pill". Look it up.

For most women abortion has no serious lasting negative psychological consequences.

This is an incredible statement to make without any evidence. Although I would also ask you for evidence if you claimed abortion led to trauma for "most women".

This is a good review. Note that I am not saying that no women experience serious negative psychological consequences. Some do.

https://www.sexualwellbeing.ie/for-professionals/research/re...

No, but some people think it is.

The consequences for a young boy saddled with the long term consequences of fatherhood or child support are serious.

Secondly, if parents were truly concerned about this they would provide condoms, support, and healthcare rather than stern (and ultimately useless) admonitions and, even worse, sexist jokes. It's not a coincidence that states with a reactionary attitude to sex and sexism see the highest rate of teen pregnancies.

I think the implication is that it's easier for young boys to get out of their parental responsibilities than for young girls.

I've seen, a number of times, friends & family & random Internet advice-givers of teenage fathers say "Get a paternity test!" or "Don't sign anything". Particularly if they're close with the father but don't like the mother. Sometimes even if the dad-to-be is excited about having a kid. It's a very marked contrast to how we treat adult males (and what we claim to value as a society), where the advice is usually "Time to man up, get a job, and be a dad."

No such thing as a maternity test, and we tend to excoriate young mothers who might want to shirk their maternal responsibilities.

There's probably something revealing there about self-interest and who we identify with in a situation.

No such thing as a maternity test? Isn’t it kind of obvious?

That was the point. Everybody knows who the mother of a baby is; fathers have plausible deniability.

Usually. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lydia_Fairchild

Linked case wasn’t even the one I was looking for, but the cause was the same. Still the mother, but surprisingly non-obvious.

Sometimes you just have to accept that there is a reason why these "jokes" exist and, if you are interested in it, you should try to figure out why rather than fight against the accepted wisdom.

Yes, it's a shame to see this kind of thing on HN. But perhaps I shouldn't be so surprised.

> preventing their daughters from having premarital sex

And it's because being a young single mom sucks.

It's a lifestyle choice for many.

Parents of pregnant daughters are probably more likely to end up raising their grandkid than parents whose sons get others’ daughters pregnant. The various stressful situations and financial strain that result can wreck people.

I suspect that will be counterproductive, yet sell well.

Anecdotally, about half the women I know have shared with me stories of men being various levels of inappropriate.

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