The first issue is I don't know what is real and what is metaphorical. The hydrogen orbitals are real? Are they squashed like that?. But the rotations are entirely fictional? Or do they correspond to electron spin? Do hydrogen atoms really share electron clouds or is that a metaphor?
Several specific issues: Ionized hydrogen doesn't have an electron, so what is the electron cloud. The ends of the wire rotating clockwise vs counterclockwise: the wires are pointing opposite directions, so the opposite directions cancel out, and they are rotating the same direction? Making a wire of single-file hydrogen: is that even theoretically possible? How is there drift velocity when the atoms are just rotating in place?
I understand that voltage is represented by the rotation speed in this model. (Is this different from momentum?) But what is current in this model? Everything was spinning when the circuit was open, and everything is still spinning when the circuit is closed.
What "level" of electricity is this model supposed to explain? It's discussing circuits, but I don't see how this model helps one understand why you need a resistor when connecting a LED to a battery, for instance. The resistor reduces current, which is not spin but propagation of an impulse? Or is the model supposed to help understand electric fields and stuff? (How would this model even explain an electric field in a vacuum, where there's nothing to spin?) Or is it intended to provide insight into what's happening at the quantum level?
I don't want to be critical, so hopefully these comments are constructive.