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Comment by diob | Hacker News Reader

I replied much the same to someone on twitter. They were complaining that their coworkers were good friends and they thought remote meant they would no longer have friends.

No! You'll now be able to make friends outside of tech! Imagine being able to work from the diner, or a coffee shop, or a bookstore, or a another country entirely! You're going to be able to make friends with so many different people. It would be a wonderful thing for the world.

Maybe I'm overly optimistic, but I think it would go a long ways toward breaking humans out of the bubbles they tend to stay in. Maybe people would start to empathize and understand one another better.

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We live in a society experiencing a crisis of loneliness. Stripping away yet another built-in opportunity for in-person socialization and community building is going to make that worse, not better.

There are endless other "built-in opportunities" out there for socialization, and remote work gives the freedom to choose them for yourself rather than being forced into an arbitrary office for the majority of your life.

Choosing is part of the issue, and at that point it is not longer "built-in". People make friends with those physically around on a regular basis–I can only think of three environments where making friends is "built-in": school, work, and church. You never have all three, but at least we always have just one.

I get that all it takes is to find a meet up of like minded individuals that meet up regularly, but sometimes even that is hard to find.

>I can only think of three environments where making friends is "built-in": school, work, and church

You left out the military, but those are merely the few institutional walls that society has most oppressively forced upon us. There are countless other sports teams, game clubs, hobby communities, activist groups, charities/service organizations, hacker/maker spaces, martial arts gyms, etc. etc which we are more free to choose from, and are often more likely to enjoy. With the internet, such groups have never been easier to find.

Choosing is only an issue because we are so unused to having such agency over our own lives.

Sorry, but these opportunities exist today, even when people work from office (pre pandemic). Which is just to say: the existence of opportunities does not help the argument.

Coworkers offer a great pool of like minded individuals that can relate to people. You have to interact with them, and relationships are inevitably built. This is fantastic!

On a personal note: the office is a social environment distinct from my personal life. I enjoy both: hanging out with coworkers after work talking about a hairy problem, working together with coworkers to fix on call issues, and then hanging out with personal friends on weekends.

To be clear: I have mixed feelings about remote work. I can see the benefits it offers but I love to be around human coworkers. I’m not sure how invested I would feel.

If people can work remote and don't have to commute, that's quite a bit of time saved that could be used getting involved in your local community. I couldn't disagree more that this would lead to a worse loneliness outcome and not a better one.

There are plenty of opportunities already for these people. It's just hard to force yourself to go to them. This is an incredibly optimistic view, it is far too easy to become complacent and not leave your house. Especially for young people, who for the last 16 years were basically forced to go to class and interact with peers. I'm a new(ish) grad and I really enjoyed getting to know some of my younger coworkers, and we hangout outside the office. I would have never reached this level of friendship if we only knew each other via slack and skype calls

A lot of relationships are forged through consistent meetings. Hobby circles generally form friendships for this reason. I don't think getting involved in my local community or working from a coffee shop will really provide the same sort of rich interactions that I get from a forced periodic meeting.

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