Well, you don't need to install a compiler for it if your distro ships it (and there is a fully static binary that should just work right about everywhere)
You could open an issue asking for the platform you are missing- Go supposedly has good cross compilation support[0], so as long as Go supports it and you can help confirm that the builds work for the devs they might be open to it.
[0] https://dave.cheney.net/2015/08/22/cross-compilation-with-go...
And go is not an interpreted language. You don't need go tools to run precompiled go binaries. Just like with C, you don't need gcc to run C binaries.
However, you seem determined to hate this for whatever reason.
I think this is the problem ;) My complaints center around platforms which aren't popular enough to merit someone actually maintaining a port for.