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I don't think it is fair to frame it so dramatically. I think you're arguing for strong diplomacy in negotiation, which I completely agree with. You could presume the original dialogue was not indicative of absolutely perfect diplomatic practices, but to say he is extremely arrogant... I would say he is justifiably confident if he has encountered relevant situations many times before and an adequate technical skill set. Either way, to pass any judgement, we're making way too many assumptions.

And ultimately, isn't this irrelevant? They are just a few general, entertaining anecdotes. I hope you don't take Dilbert or The Office seriously as well.

There's only negligible value in yet more anecdotes framed to reinforce the "coders awesome, managers stupid" stereotype.

In my experience, good managers would never take things that way. I read edw's post again just to be sure I didn't miss something. But none of his comments are malevolent, nor are they rebellious. They're calm, rational, and probing.

So correspondingly in my experience, only poor quality and insecure managers would get the same impression as you. High quality managers would value the feedback and expertise from their technical folk, and never take direct comments, questions, or contradictory points as insubordination.

It's the first lesson I learned in management anyway. You hire people who are smarter than you, and you correspondingly depend on them for the questions you hired them to answer. Direct to-the-point conversations aren't conflictive, they're productive.

I can't tell you how many times, I've told people, "OK, just tell me the point." Likewise, I can't tell you how many times people have told me, "OK, just tell me the point." People don't like wasting time with unnecessary chit chat when they can get things done, and if there's professionalism and respect in the group, there's no chance such a direct contradictory statement could ever be perceived as an FU.

Most people do prefer wasting time. It is the few that actually get things done that don't. If you think productive people are the majority, you have been really lucky in the places you have worked.

Or you've been really unlucky....

  Manager: I pay you to know about this stuff. Also, it's
           impossible.
  You:     No it isn't
  Manager: (Likes wasting his money paying people then not
           listening to them): I am right.
  You:     No you aren't.
  Manager: (More interested in asserting schoolyard social
           dominance than running a business) I'm not
           listening la la la
  You:     *sigh* But....
  Manager: I'm the manager and you wont win.
  You:     When we as a company do the impossible, we all
           win. We can do it.
  Manager: I don't care. I'd rather we all lose than you
           win.
  You:     *sigh*

"Yes, totally. I'll get some facts about xyz and get back to you, so you can choose the best thing for the team."

The manager comeback to that is:

  Manager: Fine, but let's put the fact-finding on the back burner as it's not a high priority right now.

depending of the facts (read money) that you make them save ;)