Comment by DaiPlusPlus | Hacker News Reader

Comment by DaiPlusPlus | Hacker News Reader

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> You employ licensed caregivers to yell at you in the morning?

Yes. I use sites like Care.com and WellBeyondCare.com to find them.

> Are you implying you are paying a nurse to open your door and yell at you "get out of bed sleepyhead?"

They aren’t nurses. The going rate for a caregiver in the US is only slightly above minimum-wage which is awful - especially considering the “human” value of the work they do for us and our loved-ones.

> Or is your insurance paying?

I pay for it myself. A good chunk of my income is 1099-based and my CPA said I can deduct my caregiving expenses as a business expense because without their help I wouldn’t be working anywhere near as many hours as I do otherwise.

I pay them $30-35/hr - with a 1-hour minimum. They pay for themselves as far as I’m concerned.

> Do they actually drive to your house and do this?

Yes. They come-by around 6-7am and spend about 15-30 minutes with me before they go off to their main day job, so I imagine it’s a nice little (easy!) side-gig for them.

> Do they do anything else for you?

I’ve had a few that stayed for a full hour - they’d make me a proper cooked breakfast while I’m spending 20+ minutes just waking up in the shower.

...it’s like living with my parents again.

My generation likes to joke about “bed gravity” but it’s a real problem :/

This is so great. I've considered it many times. Do these people offer help with administrative tasks as well? Sites like upwork and taskrabbit haven't really delivered. (edit: looks like you're in Redmond. I'm in Seattle, so local tips are welcome)

I spent the last two years mulling over hiring an assistant, and told a friend I had $1000/mo for this in a heartbeat. Got in a fender bender without insurance (I could afford it, just never got the paperwork together), and my friend pointed out that had I gotten the assistant, they would have paid for themselves merely by mitigating the cost of that one incident.

I can totally relate to how this seemingly absurd expense is an absolute no-brainer for people like us.

> Do these people offer help with administrative tasks as well?

Some of them do - you need to ask around. Every one of them has been lovely to me, but some are more capable of administrative and PA work than others - consider that most of them usually do work like being an orderly or care-assistant in a care home, for example).

But give it a go! You can mention in your job posting that you’re wanting to give it a try for a week at first and take it from there, for example.

No special paperwork is needed as far as I know - as it’s not the same as having a domestic-employee like a live-in nanny or au-pair.

Shortly after getting diagnosed ADHD at age 34 (same as you, no hyperactivity just motivation dysfunction) I tried out some ADHD coaches and found that it was a total waste of time and money because they weren’t physically present, telling me to my face the what/when/where of my day. What you’re describing sounds like exactly what I really needed, but I don’t currently have the income to support an expense like that unfortunately. Maybe in 5-10 years...

I do pay far more than the going-rate, and it is 5-6 days in the week. You could give it a try for much less and still pay more than the prevailing wage for caregiver work and have it for 1 or 2 days in the week and see if it works for you.

Do you find that medication helps (if you use it)?

Not GP but I've found medication is the difference between "adulting" okayish and not adulting at all (bills slip by, staying focused on work is excruciating, house looks like a tornado hit).

I've also found I'm a hyper-metabolizer. Ritalin lasts about 90 minutes before crash, amphetamine about 6h, and straterra just makes me derp. There's a hysteresis effect to the crashes - topping off with more IR isn't the same as preventing a crash.

Current protocol is 15 mg Vyvanse (yes the dexamph prodrug that's supposed to last all day) when I get up around 9, another 15mg around 1300. And actually thinking about switching to 3x. All in an effort to get a really stable blood plasma. Otherwise, I turn into a zombie and can't make dinner.

Still a struggle, and side effects abound, but well worth it.

Only 15mg lisdex? 40mg is the typical dose for adults.

Yes, it took some experimentation but we (my psychiatrist and I) have found that Vyvanse works quite well. It’s not a perfect solution, but it makes daily life a bit more predictable than when I am left to my own devices. I actually found that microdosing psychedelics was the best medication, but unfortunately I don’t have a steady source for that.

This is shocking! You spend about $700 a month just to be woken up?

I can’t get my head round this at all.

I've wanted to wake up at 5AM for the last... maybe 5 years, so I could do side projects before work; but I've always ended up waking up at the latest time where I can shower, get dressed and take the bus to work so I'm not late to the daily status meeting. Being able to have that 3 more hours every day is probably worth some money.

Although 5 years of that service (let's say minus the time I'd be on vacation) is about $40000...

Make a baby, or adopt. Much cheaper way to wake up early.

And, as I’ve learnt, a much more expensive way to do anything else whatsoever. :-)

But defeats the purpose of having MORE time for a side project.

Babies are the side project destroyers.

Probably closer to $1000/mo, actually.

But as I said - it literally pays for itself: say my time is worth $100/hr[1] and paid on an IRS 1099 schedule - so it’s a deductible expense. The extra 3-4 hours it gets me ($300-400) is worth the $35 opportunity cost, because that’s $5,000+ extra monthly income - so minus the $1000 as a pre-tax deductible business expense then that’s $4000 I wouldn’t have had otherwise.

Spreadsheets don’t lie!

Even if I was paid on a W-2 basis, I could probably pay for it using pre-tax money from my HSA - though that would sap all of my HSA contributions though.

[1]: Why yes, I do live on the US west-coast.

1) Fascinating.

2) You could probably get a movie deal.

> You could probably get a movie deal

I imagine a film about kind middle-aged ladies bringing coffee to a young, possibly hungover, technology worker who suffocates on his own pillow at night would not make for good entertainment.

Or it’d be a hit. Could probably frame it as a remake of As Good As It Gets: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/As_Good_as_It_Gets

I could see the guy falling for one of the ladies who wake him up. Quirky but it might be a romcom that could work.

I see you’re not a screenwriter. As Good as it Gets, Harold and Maude, etc.

Have considered hiring someone to sit behind me, just to keep me on task.

Adderal did a great job “teaching” me to stay on task. I do alright without it now, but energy level is just too low.

Diet definitely makes a huge difference. Carbs are evil. Audio books for when I need to do chores.

Have you considered (or perhaps tried) sleeping until you naturally wake up? Also, if you don't mind: do yo need to be awake at such early hours or do you just not want to spend more time sleeping than you currently do?

> Have you considered (or perhaps tried) sleeping until you naturally wake up?

Yes - I'll sleep-in for up to 12 hours, sometimes more - which then means I won't feel tired until ~6am the following morning - or later, and then I end-up with a strange 36-hour body-clock in my head while my body feels bad.

> do yo need to be awake at such early hours or do you just not want to spend more time sleeping than you currently do?

With my current job I don't need to be up at a certain time, but I actually feel sad and it lowers my self-esteem if I sleep through daylight hours - and on the times when I miraculously do wake-up naturally at sunrise I feel a kind of satisfaction with myself.

Even so, I'm still not actually all-that productive in the mornings until the afternoon (which makes it a good time for meetings!), but I'd rather be slightly less productive than feel sad and depressed.

have you tried camping to reset your circadian rhythm? i find that after camping there is a really good reset that lasts a while.

I hate camping! :)

You seem to be more extreme version of me in that regard :) I'll sleep for 9-10 hours and end up on a 25-26 hour rhythm.

I can get myself to 24-hour rhythm with melatonin, which I do, but it doesn't reduce amount of sleep I need so I'm left with a shortened day.

Unfortunately, after getting used to waking up without alarm, I find getting up forcefully really painful. And I doubt it would help productivity much, because I'd be half-zombie if I do it more than 2 days in a row.

> ...it’s like living with my parents again.

PaaS: Parents-as-a-Service.

I'm not totally joking about this. Someone get on this.

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