"I'm still not understanding why it's so hard to display the birthday date on the settings page. Why can't we get this done this quarter?"

Look, I'm sorry, we've been over this. It's the design of our back-end. First there's this thing called the Bingo service. See, Bingo knows everyone's name-o, so we get the user's ID out of there. And from Bingo, we can call Papaya and MBS (Magic Baby Service) to get that user ID and turn it into a user session token. We can validate those with LNMOP. And then once we have that we can finally pull the users info down from Raccoon.