> You can run your own private island, but if you want to be "part of the fediverse" then you need to peer with servers in the main network, right? Which means tyranny-of-structurelessness organisational politics, because each admin gets to make their own rules about who they peer with, and so if there are disagreements in the network then you have to pick a side.

Sounds like normal human interaction to me. This is a feature, not a bug as far as I'm concerned.