Hacker News Reader

Comment by olalonde | Hacker News Reader

Was your girlfriend born in China? It seems this kind of mentality has gradually changed with the rise of the communist regime. China is now one of the most feminist countries in the world with women and men on equal feet in most spheres of society. My girlfriend is also Chinese, has always lived in China and as far as I know, her family doesn't care whether I own an apartment or not. Perhaps the rules are different for foreigners...

View on HN

You're white, for most Chinese families that is very good, better than owning an apartment. Plus you're from Canada, that is automatic opportunity for their daughter and the rest of her family. Given Canada's preference for uniting families in immigration policy if you marry her then the better part of her immediate family gets in much easier.

Some of my friends (guys no less) get paid to go to clubs in China just because the owner wants to associate it as a place white people go.

I married my Chinese wife last year & I understand perfectly well that a lot of compromised had to be made by the family just because I'm a Westerner. I own a flat, back home in Europe, but it's not paid off 100% so "that doesn't count". Also, in their eyes, instead of me tucking away a few 100000 in my propety they see a few 100000 "lost" because I invested in European real estate and not Chinese real estate. I spent a few days in a newly-built 'city' of summer houses just outside of Shanghai. Lots of places that people don't even bother to fully furnish since they are planning to flip them anyway.

The rules are definitely different for foreigners.

You are assumed to be wealthy or at least a very good bet to eventually be wealthy.

As well, you can guarantee citizenship in a First World country. Have you encountered the term "filial piety" yet?

I guess most spheres excludes family, the most important one for some people. Take for example homosexuality. You can work with, play with, and be friends with a gay person. But come out to your family and start dating someone of the same sex is a big problem.

Apparently,even though you have a chinese girlfriend,you don't seem to understand much about Chinese people or culture. Trust me, everyone of her family care about whether you own (or have the ability to own) an apartment or not (including their dog if they have one) though I doubt they will say it to your face.

Probably depends on the family. In my case (she was indeed born in China), it's not so much her parents as her who cares a lot about that.

When discussing the characteristics of their ideal husband, Chinese girls will occasional joking (not really) say, "有车，有房，父母双亡”。 Which means, "[He] has a car, a house, and both of his parents are dead." Filial piety is hard work.

Reply on news.ycombinator.com