I feel like I'm reading my exact same thoughts from the past year. (Other than the "several hundred thousand a year." After talking to my manager, it sounds like metaphorically, I'm on poverty line in the software world)

Exercise helps me a lot, especially with our current situation. I don't see anything wrong with sharing it with your husband as long as you're rational about it.

Regarding work, do you still think about work when you go home? Are you able to drop those thoughts once you head home? I just write notes down first if I still have my thoughts in my head that I don't want to lose. More social interactions might help too but you'll likely have to be more proactive about it than other people to get it going.