> I'd like reliable, robust internet.
>Any recommendations on how to set something like this up?
For at least the WiFi issues, the answer is: don't use WiFi. Use Ethernet cables and you will have reliable, robust connections. Which means (exclusive of a comcast outage) "reliable ssh connections which stay up and have low latency".
> I am interested in having a secure router,
Building your own from a PC, plural ethernet cards, and Linux is one way to know exactly what the router is, and is not, doing. It is also not going to become obsolete tomorrow because the maker no longer releases firmware upgrades for it. However you are also taking on the effort of upgrading things yourself as necessary to maintain security.