I don't think the two of you have points in contention. That is to say, I think it is accurate to say that Ford and GM _spend_ more on R&D but Tesla _executes_ more on R&D. In fact, I would say that very discontinuity forms much of the basis for Tesla's very (some would say irrationally) high P/E ratio!
Only one of these has long term impacts but they are both "R&D"
Either they are publicly exaggerating the scope of the projects they are working on (eg the “million mile” battery and “full rewrite of FSD”), severely underpaying engineers and understaffed, or something else.
Starting from 0, valuing employee opinion, and removing red tape saves countless employee hours and makes good people stay.
Other companies might consider exoskeleton a R&D thing, Tesla just handles that as part of their Cybertruck development cost.
The same goes for a lot of their developments.
What matters is how fast and how often new technology goes into your next product. If you look at the Cybertruck, how many innovative stuff there is, I really don't care how much R&D they have, I'm just impressed with how many innovations they bring to market with each iteration of their cars.
John DeLorean achieved his original initial career arc by resurrecting the Pontiac brand. Technically speaking, there wasn't a terrible amount of innovation there -- the idea was using existing products in a new way by putting a bigger engine into a smaller frame and marketing it in a sexy manner. But it took off like wildfire. He invented the idea of a muscle car.
So, as sibling comments say, you may not buy the efficiency argument, but will you buy the focus argument? Tesla made a name out of doubling down on the future instead of the past. They were first to market with a vehicle so iconic it become eponymous with the sector itself. They built a global supercharger network to challenge the whole idea of a gasoline vehicle being the norm. Personal feelings regarding the antics of their founder (and horrible mismanagement/mistreatment of ICs inside the company) aside, I have a lot of respect for the innovations that their product culture has achieved.