Using Group Policy you can set Windows to download but not install updates. [0]

Setting this, I have never had an unexpected restart. Please keep in mind that future Windows updates may adjust this setting. I have had to re-apply the policy at least once.

I’ve also had issues with wake timers which have needed a combination of settings to fix.

Personally, I have moved away from Windows for every device I have excluding a dedicated gaming PC. I agree that this is hostile behavior and is completely unacceptable.

[0] The group policy is located at

  Computer Configuration\ Policies\ Administrative Templates\ Windows Components\ Windows Update

and is called “Configure Automatic Updates”. Enable it and select “3 - Auto download and notify for install”