Math is hard for me because once a step of a proof is lost on me, the whole thing is lost unless I branch out into a rabbit hole, and learn what just happened
Or you can just not stop, and try to go even deeper. But then you stop being a mathematician, and you turn into a madman, a philosopher or a theologist.
It's not impossible to gain understanding of a step in someone else's argument.
There may also exist types of math that are impossible to represent or reason about with current notation.
[0] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Terence_Tao
[1] https://mathoverflow.net/questions/366070/what-are-the-benef...