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Comment by devmunchies | Hacker News Reader

I'm the opposite. Married with 2 kids, but I had to rent a private office 10 minutes from home so I could focus.

I was setting a bad precedent for my sons when they would try to talk to me and I'd say "I'm working. not right now." Then it becomes ambiguous whether they can talk to me or not. Not good for kids IMO.

Now when I come home i get the biggest hugs you've ever seen and we start playing.

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> they would try to talk to me and I'd say "I'm working. not right now." Then it becomes ambiguous whether they can talk to me or not. Not good for kids IMO.

Ugh, I do this all the time and didn't think about how bad it is. A gut punch, but glad I'm now conscious of it.

I'm honestly not sure why that's a gut punch? I grew up with a work from home parent. There was nothing particularly confusing about it and if anything, it taught me to respect the attention-space of others from an early age. Make sure to set up consistent visual signals of what working looks like such as a closed door and be consistent in explaining that you're in your work-zone. When work is done, then be present to your family and leave the laptop in the home office.

Exactly, I was thinking about how a visual sign could communicate the idea well. I have to work from my living room shared with a bunch of other individuals at home. It gets pretty nutty at times. I might repurpose some old desk nick-knack thing to be my now-working sign post.

I use a remote-controlled LED light so it goes red like a recording studio. They're really inexpensive to buy online.

That's a good idea. Maybe a desk lamp that gets turned on? Think about how you dress as well. Clothing is an excellent signaler. Consider rearranging the furniture to create a barrier between your desk and the rest of the room. Those folding standup room dividers are like $100 on Amazon in a variety of styles and you can hide it in the closet after hours if you are short on room.

Yah, that's what we wound up doing spontaneously today when something spilled in the kitchen this morning. We have a kitchen island on wheels, I wound up rolling it out of the kitchen out of the way and wound up just continuing on over and creating a side wing/short wall next to my seat and keyboard tray. So far so good.

Some people feel the need to baby children when they are nearby, but are comfortable ignoring then when they are away, instead of actually being their all day or teaching the child a balance including self-reliance.

A very holier-than-thou, assuming comment.

Just because I go to an office doesn’t mean I baby them or don’t teach self-reliance.

> instead of actually being there all day

Most parents aren’t present, even if they are in the same room.

> A very holier-than-thou, assuming comment

> Most parents aren’t present, even if they are in the same room

Seems like you're probably not aware of the irony.

I’m on paternity leave right now with my first kid. I worked a little bit before taking the leave and that was all the time I needed to determine that having a separate “office” is a must. We’re moving away from the Bay Area to be closer to family, and I’m seriously thinking about purchasing a cheap ($40-$60k) hut/cottage with a pretty view about ten minutes away from wherever home ends up being. I’ll set up a desk, couch, espresso machine, and treat that as “work”.

Must be very affordable real estate where you live. There’s also something like this for a backyard office https://www.costco.com/installed-sheds-by-studio-shed---bore...

$24k! Would that increase the real estate value?

I pay $400/mo (all inclusive /w internet) for my little office. That would take me 5 years to recoup at my current rate.

I got my company to pay for it though so its technically free.

We haven’t moved yet but are thinking about rural North Carolina. Haven’t looked at prices for small plots of land, so maybe I’m off a bit.

I’ve considered an office shed too, but I’m a bit worried that’s still a little too close haha.

That's a local-only webpage for your ZIP code.

Here's the main page: https://www.studio-shed.com/products/signature-series/shed-t...

No doors? Seems like there are many ways you could make the signal less ambiguous.

Yeah, this is a setup issue, not a work-from-home issue. If possible a separate office with closable door is ideal, then just be really strict that when your office door is closed, you're at work and not to be disturbed. It took me a few months to train my family to respect this but they're pretty good about it now.

…income to real estate / rental prices in many of the metropolitan areas mean many of us do not have a separate room.

Doors - that would imply a room.

So many people are working at a kitchen table right now or similar. I.e. in a communal area, due to lack of spare rooms to make into an office.

Imagine two adults trying to work at a kitchen/dining room table all day with children around.

Well in that case the problem isn't "working from home", its "working from this particular home which isn't setup in any way for success". Its not reasonable to expect everyone to have a living situation setup to accommodate working from home given the way the current situation was thrust upon them, but its just an unreasonable to judge the efficacy of working from home based on those same people's experiences. Its equivalent to removing all the desks and furniture from an office and then basing your assessment on the ensuing disaster.

As you alluded to, if you only judge something in its most optimal setting, then of course that thing seems very workable and successful. There are very few objective truths when it comes to WFH policies; there are only compromises that people are willing to make/accept. People always seem to make it about one-size-fits-all X is Good Y is Bad.

How about something like one of those flippable "open/closed" signs on your office door?

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