"so there are these assholes over near beatlgeuse who haven't figured out ansible communication and therefore think they're alone in the universe. So they send these packets of super aggressive proto organics at every exoplanet their crappy telescopes pick up in hopes of seeding life in the universe, but, in reality, just making life hell for their neighbors. That probe which showed up here twenty years ago? We all have NOSES now, Bob. Do you have any idea how humiliating that is?"