If programming languages were religions...

Haskell should be listed as Confucianism.

It is an orderly society built on a tight system of rules which delineate the role of each thing and its respective place in the cosmos. People think that the rules are confusing and legalistic, but great societies can be built atop it and it's foundations.

Actionscript / Adobe would be jehovas witnesses. Its annoying, but prevalent and always at your door 'would you like to talk about updates? I have this great Flash video...'

See

http://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=399699

and

http://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=1944876

Ruby's wrong too. The description of Ruby says nothing about either it's society or it's strengths (or weaknesses) as a language. Being popular isn't a language or cultural feature.

I'm not sure where to place it still. Ruby's been called SmallTalk for the Unix VM. But then i'm not sure where to put SmallTalk either. Ruby's a language about aestheticism and ease of development. SmallTalk is a language about robust minimal APIs accomplished through message passing and tracking the state of the universe. Given that every smalltalk program is a VM unto itself, there's something about multiverse semantics there somewhere. Which is akin to Mahayana Buddhism.

Actually that's it.

Lisp should be Taoism. It's about the raw expressive power of the universe as it flows around us. It's also very confusing to non-believers, and even to believers, there's a lot of infighting and disagreement. Lispers seem very happy when alone.

Then, Smalltalk is mainline Mahayana Buddhism. All adherents are promised that they will become the Buddha of their own personal domain upon reaching Enlightenment. Experience is the only thing that is real, and the true nature of the universe is ephemeral and ever changing (via duck typing, monkey patching and message passing). Those who get lost in samsara are doomed to keep repeating their mistakes (MONKEY PATCH WITH CARE).

Ruby is Zen Buddhism. Ruby holds all the same tenets as Smalltalk, but is much more considerate of aesthetics and formalization by a rigorous, perhaps rigid society. It made its way to the US and is understood as something totally different in North America, with different leaders and and focus. It is wildly popular among Californians.

Not sure about the jab at Microsoft, C# is just an implementation of an ECMA standard (http://www.ecma-international.org/publications/standards/Ecm...) and as if Java isn't unduly influenced by The Red Menace these days.

Perl is spot on though :)

Lisp and Haskell programmers would both worship the lambda. Instead of making the sign of the cross they would draw the sign of the lambda across their chest to show reverence..

If? Programming languages are one of the most religious prone components of the geek ecosystem.

Logo is what little kids make up for themselves when nobody tells them anything different.

VB is not a religion, it is an atheism: no strict rules, nothing to be afraid of, it is very forgiving. Anyone who is lazy enough to be a follower of an organized structural system, can claim to be an expert in VB.

It was good until I realized it was just a drawn out rip on VB...