Mike Tyson says: “Social media made you all way too comfortable with disrespecting people and not getting punched in the face for it.”
Reddit I think has the potential for the best discussion platform. The people are the biggest problem, and upvotes are a good idea, but doesn't seem to work in practice
I love things like IM groups/discord servers because they are somewhat hidden and hard to find. You get invited by a friend or see a link somewhere and join and when you do join you tend to stick around for a while.
It's not a room, but a city. You've clearly been spending time in a bad part of town. Ruthlessly curating lists of people/accounts worth following will transform your experience.
So in the end the tailoring capability makes itself an obligation, which leads to users floating in their own opinions and information bubble, leads to ... interesting ... outcomes when the real world comes knocking.
This is markedly different to how it has been before with specialist forums etc. There, while there was coalescence around particular topics, the range of opinions and personalities participating was otherwise quite open and the ability to filter was limited (or rather, elective in a way that twitter feed curation is not). There was certainly some self-selection at play but it's intensified massively with the shift in dynamic.
Facebook has the same issue as twitter of course and I suspect many other platforms as well - One mitigating approach is to try and keep conflicting views on your feed but it quickly becomes so tiresome that your engagement with the platform as a whole drops.
I'm not sure there's a good approach other than to go full wargames.
Tweets are almost always very bold statements with little nuance.
But who has time for that? The OP said he was thinking about it while working on his car. A real life thing that I expect is a lot more satisfying than staring at phosphor being "ruthless" to strangers.
Given how many hours of daily television are consumed by your average 1st-world person, just about everyone.