All that said, I don't see why accessibility has to be a dirty word. Purposefully difficult game design does exclude players. For every inspiring story of someone completing a challenge while suffering from a disability, there are 10 more who completely miss out on what are - difficulty aside - genuinely interesting games. I personally know soulsborne fans who mainly like exploring the world, and for whom boss encounters are just a necessary evil.
That's honestly fair - these are rich worlds with interesting lore and a unique form for storytelling, so I totally get just enjoying the game(s) on those merits alone. It then follows that I think others who are similarly inclined but perhaps not quite as able should be able to enjoy the same experience.
2.) I am not talking about some game being "not for me". I am about gaming community hostility toward people "like me" and towards games made for "people like me".
That hostility manifest when we start to talk about what we want in games in general, what we want games to be like. Or when we hit the wall in game that pretends to be for general public, but halfway cease to be. And I am not even complaining about game designer even, I am literally complaining about how gaming community responds to those who have different taste then them.