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The "online" part is the inherent problem because suddenly every user has access to 10,000 other users, which creates problems for both sides. When you have people meeting irl, they are meeting far less new people at a given time so they put more effort into each interaction, making dating more pleasant.

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Isn't the solution to add artificial scarcity by limiting the number of users that someone can contact per month, say?

A user should be able to tell the app/site "Don't let anyone contact me if they've contacted someone else in the past week".

Of course that would be terrible for ad revenue of the app/site, and there could be some interesting meta-gaming of how users set these rate limits (or try to get around them), but I think it would lead to a more balanced experience over all.

Coffee Meets Bagel implements something like this, where each person is presented a small number of people per day, regardless of whether you choose to match or not. They seem to have had issues with the quality of number on it recently, but I was a big fan of it in around 2015-2017

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