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> I do not want to disable all cookies, I'm perfectly happy to use credential cookies or a shopping cart

The cookie banner that you have to refuse/accept only concerns cookies that are not necessary for the proper functioning of the site. So login cookies or shopping cart are unaffected by the consent, and if your site has nothing else than this, it does not need to ask for consent.

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Many sites, upon clicking reject, do not actually disable anything and simply suggest you disable cookies in your browser (sometimes with instructions).

Which is probably not legal.

Probably not. That's why we need legal enforcement, and not "users learn how to use the cookie options of their browsers" as these sites and the top level comment on this thread suggest.

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