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Comment by conradev | Hacker News Reader

My grandma sold her house and we used some of the money to convert our garage into an apartment for her so that she could live with our family. Certainly not everyone can do this but living with your parents/grandparents as they get older does seem like a reasonable “fix” to me.

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We’re going to be buying a house with my family, mother and her husband in 2021. What struck me as interesting is the responses of my friends to these plans; how much trouble this would cause me, that taking care of your parents is a huge effort, that they would never do this, etc.

I consider this attitude a good example of why things are the way they are. But I take pride in going against the norm here.

I wonder how your partner really feels about that.

My partner is Asian and she is actually the one who suggested it. It’s very normal in her culture.

This is a very modern and very North American type attitude to hold tbh, and I'm not convinced the whole "everyone should have their own wage slave shed to themselves far away from their loved ones" isn't as much a marketing trope as "diamonds are a girl's best friend".

When my father's father passed away, my grandmother sold the house and bought a mobile home, which was put about 50 feet from her daughter's house. (This was in rural Pennsylvania.) It worked out great for more than 30 years. She could be alone, she could be with family.

It's nice that you feel this way about your parents and grandparents, but this is a nightmare scenario for me. I hope I die suddenly before I have to rely on anyone else to support me in any way, and if I'm being honest, I hope my own parents go out that way too.

There’s different levels of support. Shopping for groceries or helping your elders do laundry is different than changing their diapers and spoon feeding them.

Of course, it depends on the individual’s personalities and whether or not they can accept the compromises of living near or with each other.

I would want to commit suicide before I subject my kids or grandkids to permanently doing basic tasks like cleaning up my bodily functions or spoon feeding me, but I certainly don’t mind helping my elders with various tasks every now and then.

Might be best to make the suicide plans now. Do be sure to inform your parents that you'd rather not help them through their elderly infirmity.

After all, having made babies entitles them to being cared for. That's the rules. /s

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