Meanwhile, doctors I've been to offer out prescriptions for 800mg ibuprofen pretty freely and don't seem too worried about side effects (IMO it's easier to just take a bunch of the smaller ones instead of a single horsepill)
That seems a little suspect to me. It's a very useful medicine, and a better choice than Advil for some people. And it really is safe at the right dose.
That seems much more likely—but, very few drugs are approved for OTC use out of the gate! They generally want OTC drugs to have been in use for a long time.
Having said that, given I am not a doctor/clinician/pharmacologist/pharmacist, you can usually alternate them to take a higher dosage of pain relief.
If you have a regular doctor, it's probably a good idea to ask which of a few different options are safe for you for occasional use, and probably check in if you find yourself needing something for longer than a few days. (And if you don't have a regular doctor, find one... If you lack insurance, it's still probably worth the money to pay once a year for a physical, and also have a resource that knows your health history that you can consult with. For basic questions, like "does my medical history rule out acetomenophen", most doctor's offices will take a message for the doctor and then call you back with an answer)
The answer is "it depends" on your history and any other meds you're taking and also your home situation.
Indeed, but I think it's better to just not post such medical advice at all.