I got fed up with it, been somewhat a loner all my life(main exception was nightlife starting in the late teens, social life at work always messed me up, I have had very little interest in work ppl), I feel like there always had a lot of stuff I wanted to explore internally, intellectually, etc. Now though I feel like I've exhausted that and would prefer the unpredictableness of social life, and also feel more like sharing.. In a way now it seems egoistic to have tried grasping a lot of stuff to then just doing nothing with it.

My big thoughts are mostly the same, moving in the same rate when I'm cooking them up by myself but now in social situations I feel like I can crack some great jokes and mental maneuvers in trying to translate my philosophies to others.

I think being a true loner brings peace in that you don't need to think much about social pressures and such, on another hand though, it can feel a bit like you're some virtual computing machine entity isolated from everything else. Now I'm sort of looking at mental & physical exertion as a way to distract me from the boredom of 'not existing', maybe it was always that and I've been good at it, took skateboarding at 27, practicing by myself like some crazy person 6 years already, and now I started working on a game project too.. It's just weird to me how self-exertion and 'social fasting' go together. But anyway, I've exhausted so many interests already that I sort of crave of breaking off of it, I'd just take some 5 or 6 projects with me and that's it.