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Comment by jayski | Hacker News Reader

I struggled with loneliness and depression for almost a decade. Im now married have a beautiful son, and a great social life, I can tell you the secret and its easy: excercise.

Thats all there is to it.

Dont sign up for a gym membership and show up there confused and intimidated. join some sort of excercise class; crossfit, spinning,jiu jitsu, yoga.

I promise, it wont be overnight, but it will be FAST. you will feel better, youll make friends without even trying. Its impossible to go through an hour of physical suffering every day with the same people and not end up gradually talking more and getting to know each other.

OR, you could sit at your computer with the curtains shut, feeling like shit while you wait for friends to appear out of thin air.

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If going to a gym is not an option (not cheap around here for one), I've had plenty of good experiences finding outdoor groups on Meetup or similar.

Got myself a bike, started riding in the forest with one group. Hiking with couple of others.

While getting out into nature is great in itself, the social aspect was really nice as well. Very relaxed, nothing forced.

But yeah, getting in better shape really helped on feeling more positive.

But it's so HARD.

Really, though, thanks for posting this. I'm in a slump recently and I've been nagging myself to get up and go (to no avail, nagging has never worked on me anyhow) and it's genuinely helpful to be reminded that others have done it, too and that the results are real.

Today is it. I'ma go running. Cheers!

> I promise, it wont be overnight, but it will be FAST. you will feel better, youll make friends without even trying. Its impossible to go through an hour of physical suffering every day with the same people and not end up gradually talking more and getting to know each other.

I really encourage people to try a martial art like boxing, muay thai, or brazilian jiu jitsu once COVID lockdowns are over.

These sports are extremely effective at fighting depression and loneliness for a couple of reasons:

1. You get plenty of one-on-one interaction

2. Shared suffering really does create bonds

3. There is a lot of positive validation ("great jab!", "nice hook")

4. You will see the same people 2,3,4 times a week

5. Exercise releases endorphins

6. You will be proud of how your body changes for the better

7. You will get many compliments on your new figure

8. You will get more romantic interest (looks do matter, and doing a fun/exciting sport can be bonus points in dating)

26y/o depressed kickboxer reporting. I'd like to add on this with my own experience.

4 years ago I joined a gym and that is hands down the best choice I made in my life.

While I agree on/confirm all other points, 6, 7 and 8 aren't that easy: everytime I talk about my hobby, I usually get one of these feedbacks:

- "he's dangerous, better stay away before a brawl starts"

- "nah, you don't looke like a fighter" (my body is slim type)

- general ignorant remarks about kickboxing vs muahy thai, or this gym vs that gym. Or my sport is better than yours.

The issue is two fold:

On one side, people are generally ignorant regarding martial arts (mechanics, techniques, mindset, morality).

On the other side, training usually gives you enough muscles to practice the art (and you'll notice that), but it might not be enough to give you "visible" muscles: for that you need a diet and training tailor suited to your body parameters.

(EDIT: formatting)

How are you doing with lockdowns?

A very dedicated martial artist got a concussion, then spiraled into depression. His blood work was all messed up. Doctor after doctor couldn't figure it out.

Finally landed on an occupational therapist who told him to start training again. Cleared it right up. Apparently going from 6 hours a day of training to 0 is rough.

If you can, fencing is great too.

It can be as physically demanding as you want (depends on the weapon) , and even better is that you make new friends and get to stab them

Ice skating (figure skating specifically) was my revelation. Your post rings very true.

Unfortunately, due to COVID, all the rinks in the country are closed (and most annoyingly, they are extremely safe places... Despite that, much riskier places such as swimming pools are open). And having what became such a huge part of your life ripped away for an indefinite time is completely harrowing.

Sure, I miss bars, hangouts with friends, board game meetups, cinemas... But I don't just miss the rink. I am in complete withdrawal. And psychologically, it's really, really hard to cope with not being able to go.

Yep. This 100% matches my experience too. We're the product of a billion years of evolution. Descended from an unbroken line of creatures that move around. It's really little wonder that we get sick when we don't use our bodies the way they should be.

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