Dutch person here. The thing you foreigners don't get is that cycling shouldn't be regarded as a sport. All your problems with cycling stem from that misconception.
Judging from gear, attire, speed, etc., my impression is that the vast majority of riders are what you would call "casual" and not "sport" riders. Sometimes a sportive rider goes by, but it's not the majority.
I know a lot of cyclists, including myself. Most cyclists recognize the difference between casual / utilitarian and sportive cycling. Many do both.
I believe that the stupid American who doesn't grasp cycling is a myth of the past, if it was ever anything but mythical. The most popular bikes sold in the US today have no relation to any category of competitive cycling: Hybrids, cruisers, and low end mountain bikes purchased for riding on pavement.
We're adapting to different circumstances. Now, with that said, a peculiarity of Americans is that we don't obey traditionalist rules about the separation of work and pleasure. Thus, a person might choose a "fun" bike for riding to work. I've been guilty of such a transgression. But I also own and use a bike that would not seem particularly out of place in Amsterdam.
Though admittedly, the weather in most of the US is unsuitable much of the time and likewise the terrain. The Netherlands is a small locale where these are not factors.
Getting cars under control is certainly the first thing that must happen, but cyclists running red lights and being worried about their 'gear' are a nuisance everywhere. They are no more tolerated in the Netherlands than outside.
The focus needs to be on getting cars under control, period.
Bingo, the safest time to cross on a bike is when there aren’t any moving vehicles in the intersection, and your senses tell you there aren’t going to be any more, regardless of the color of the light. Apparently I’m that asshat and will continue to be as long as I’m sharing the roads with large steel blocks. I also advocate for anyone else cycling in the US to be an asshat too, because I don’t want them to die.
I drive too, but I seriously don’t get why people care about bicyclists running a red, what’s going to happen? You have a much better ability to hear and see on a bike. You can’t accelerate anything like a car. It’s safer for everybody for them get away from the cars at the light.
The last thing I want to do is accelerate alongside a bunch of high powered steel blocks with flesh bags at the controls.
Like I said, all problems stem from that misconception. You're right that crossing 5 secs before the light turns green is one of the safest moments, but as I will happily demonstrate if you'd make it to the Netherlands, intersections need not be traffic arenas. Those solutions are halfbaked and still within an ill conceived approach to traffic.
Reducing speeds is essential, increasing predictability too, and naturally cyclists are no exception.
I think we will have to ask ourselves the question in the future: do we want heavy machinery at high speed in populated areas including red lights for all other means of transportation - or do we want populated areas with no/almost no traffic lights and faster traffic for foot/cycling traffic?
Most commuters in my city that ride more than 5km to work have adopted at least some lycra as part of their kit. It handles sweat better in summer and can be rinsed of sand then spun and air dried in winter, so you aren't getting into cold wet gear for your ride home.
My city commonly has a sea breeze with a wind speed over 35 km/hr in summer. A lot of committed cycle commuters end up adopting road/racing bikes simply due to it being more efficient energy wise. Riding a hybrid or MTB into/across the sea breeze is significantly more fatiguing.
Many people here also cycle casually for exercise. These are more leisurely rides specifically for fitness. It is rarer for people to ride to the shops, restaurant or a friends house. Why? because they don't want to turn up sweaty in summer or wet in winter.
Note that cycling in general has grown in popularity in the past decade here, regardless of the above:
http://www.roymorgan.com/findings/6237-cycling-participation...
Australians are a sports mad bunch. We have had the Tour de France televised on a free-to-air channel for over 20 years now. Since the early 2000's this lead to many more people becoming interested in road cycling, especially men. This resulted in more cyclists on the roads (especially MAMILs). The increased number of cyclists on the roads, has in turn lead to more people being inspired to get on they bike for a leisure ride or to try cycling to work. Prior to that many people I spoke to would cite having to ride on the road as a big factor in deciding not to try cycle commuting as they perceived it as too dangerous.
So cycling as a sport has had a big part to play in getting more people cycling in general over here.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bicycle_helmets_in_Australia
The only problem with Australia is the majority are addicted to cars, so much do they can’t imagine going anywhere without them.
I have been cycle commuting to school, university and various workplaces since the 80's on BMX and MTBs. I started out commuting in casual clothes (school), continued with casual clothes when I began cycling significantly further to university, but needed to carry a change of clothes due to sweat or rain. I joined the university cycle club and was introduced (admittedly with considerable skepticism) to the benefits of lycra (less chafe, faster to dry) and eventually also bought a road bike. The road bike made a big difference to my commute times/effort.
As a post grad student I had access to showers in my department. So I could ride faster/further (for fun) then shower and change before starting my day. Almost all my work places since leaving university have had shower facilities that allowed me to continue cycle commuting. Almost all the other cycle commuters at those work places that rode more than ~5km would opt to shower also. Why? because they got sweaty or wet and dirty.
If the weather is so good for cycling why do people want the end of trip shower?
By far most people I have worked with will not cycle commute at all (too far, too hard, don't want to mess up their hair with a helmet, too unsafe on the roads, take too long etc). Of those that did cycle commute, many are not all year round commuters, for the reasons I outlined above.
You may be comfortable riding in all kinds of weather. My experience is that the vast majority of Australians are not - even when end of trip facilities are available.
Accepting these discomforts is part of cycling in my view. Iets always foreigners who complain about such discomforts (my wife is ons of thema ;)), Dutch people simply accept it.