I want to oppose to the impression that there is a lack of civil vibe within the ruby community. I work on the Padrino project and most of the communication with the ruby community, our committers and our users is highly enjoyable. Jerks can be found everywhere, but they are a minority.

It really depends on what projects and groups of people you're interacting with. We have a wonderful community around Ruby Mendicant University, but it's because the folks there really care about teaching and learning as a primary goal, so they self-select towards being friendly.

Ruby isn't really a community anymore, it's an ecosystem. So if the current neighborhoods you're hanging out in don't seem too friendly, look for other ones. Different projects and organizations have different culture, and even if the union of all of those distinct groups is on a downward trend, there are still new and old groups that are going strong who are nice and helpful.