Ways to make flying less miserable

I only fly on business, and it's rarely a big deal if I have a several-hour delay because of a missed connection.

However, I'm tall, and have a bad back and knees. So legroom and elbow room are very important to me. I also had one important trip ruined because (I suspect) I picked up a bad cold during the flight.

I'd say the most anxiety-inducing part of every flight is check-in and security. I started my career (and had budget for travel) at roughly the same time as 9/11, so for many years, security delays were a real problem in the US... 3+ hour lines at IAD were common. The thought of missing a flight because I'm caught in some sort of airport security limbo is awful for me. And because most flights from DC->Europe leave in the evening, there won't be another until tomorrow (or worse, two days out, on some discount airlines).

The flight itself is pretty low down the list of things that bother me. I don't check baggage (at least outbound, sometimes I have to check coming home if I buy too many gifts), so lost luggage isn't a concern. Mechanicals happen, but so far, they've never been bad enough to cancel/reschedule the flight. And once I'm in Europe, I usually have a car or take a train, so connections not an issue. For flights that do have a connection, they're usually frequent enough to not be a problem (ie, Heathrow to Glasgow on BA).

> You know what makes me anxious? Missing my connection because the airline is late AGAIN! I'll suffer through any number of in-cabin discomforts. I'll get out and pull the aircraft back from the gate with a rope. I'll climb in and out via ladders. I'll shovel snow off the runway by hand. I'd even pay a premium on if doing so meant the flight arrives at the time indicated on the ticket.

Part of the problem here is that airlines measure departure delays that go into their On Time Performance stat based on the time they leave the gate, when what really impacts customer experience and the potential for missing a connection is takeoff time.

So, airlines are willing to have their planes full of passengers stuck in their seats wait on the tarmac indefinitely at the start of the trip, for hours sometimes (US federal rules allow up to 3h for domestic flights, and 4h for international) to halve the impact on their OTP, when passengers would clearly rather the extra time at the start of the trip be spent in the terminal.

Now, some of this is unavoidable when any delay (regardless of cause) ripples through the whole airport's landing and takeoff queues (though insufficient slack in the queue is also a cause) but measuring On Time Performance stats in a way that can and is clearly gamed in passenger-hostile ways absolutely makes it worse, and more importantly helps disguise the entity ultimately responsible for the arrival delays that cause missed connections.

Based on the simple principle of "you manage what you measure", there are a couple of basic changes that would help to fix this, one is to track stats for takeoff and landing delays, another is to split OTP into separate arrival and departure stats.

It would also be nice if airlines were required to track passenger-minutes sitting on the tarmac (though this can be derived if the above changes are made), the % of passenger missed connections, and delay passenger-minutes (so getting bumped to another flight, whether from overbooking or flight cancellation, is still reflected in the stats).

> you will often spend more time in the plane on the ground than actually flying

I used to fly reasonably often at various stages and I've not really noticed much of that, maybe it's dependent on airport or country. A lot of those factors are outside of the airline's control. TBH those times would probably be just fine if only people were allowed to move from their seats a bit or use their electronics and seat-tables, which is something airlines should probably allow.

Here's how to solve it: Fly earlier in the day to your connection, ideally have 1 or 2 flights departing after your connecting flight in case your first flight is delayed. This sometimes means spending more money or choosing a different airline, and sometimes it means flying on a different day entirely.

I once spent 5 hours on plane waiting for takeoff in Frankfurt, but it was due to lack antifreeze and engine heating machines (whatever they are called correctly) and I don't see a way how airline could have influenced that. However, having more space and comfort during that time would definitely be nice.

The most annoying things are often those that have been explicitly added by the airlines.

Added: My hack for the volume issue - take your own short audio cable with inline volume control. Set the system playback to max volume and turn down your own analog dial.

And the same for the dinner menu (always chicken or pasta), informing us that they will soon be handing out forms to fill in, etc.

And all this information you can just look on the infotainment system if you really want it.

Maybe, but holding up the queue at the wrong time (e.g. in the early stages of boarding) can have an outsized impact on the overall result.

Keeping armrests up is one of those things I always wanted from an airline. I thought there might have been some reason why they effectively inconvenienced everyone as standard, but apparently not. I wonder if bringing them down is a leftover from the times armrests included an heavily-used ashtray.

1) Knowing is better than not knowing. Even if the information is outside of your control, you now know what to expect. Knowing gives us a feeling of control over a situation, even if we don’t.

1a) Things change in the time you’re in the air. You also have to be proactive to get that information ahead of time, as opposed to passive to hear it from the captain.

2) Little inconveniences add up. Sure, an armrest being down is probably not a thing at all. But it’s annoying when I’m trying to get past it, and I always have to put it up. It’s another straw on the camel’s back.

3) Not having to put the armrests down probably helps with their cleaning times. Again, not a huge amount, but a few minutes for each cleaning job.

If one really wants to make a difference, focus on industry/corporations and not regular people just trying to get by. Otherwise it’s just an excuse for more control and consolidation of power.

Even the cleanest armrests and high cabin-air turnover rate won't prevent droplets reaching you from someone speaking or sneezing next to you or behind you.

This used to occur, and I first saw it on Lufthansa in the 1990s. Window seats in the back of the plane boarded first, aisle seats in the front boarded last. United adopted it (they were both part of the Star Alliance), but it didn't last; I'm guessing it was incompatible with the pre-boarding of high-mileage (= high revenue back then) fliers, esp those who wanted overhead space.

Have you ever tried one of those inflatable around-your-neck pillows that are sold at airports? I've always wondered if they were worked.

Not reclining my own seat is a very small price to pay for not having the guy in front recline his. I couldn't believe more airlines don't do that, it's so freaking obvious.