Comment by mlthoughts2018 | Hacker News Reader

Comment by mlthoughts2018 | Hacker News Reader

Parent Full thread

Belief that you depend on Facebook to stay in touch with your family is so misguided and sad.

No matter where you live in the world, you don’t need Facebook, not at all, not one bit. It requires absolutely zero extra effort to stay in touch to exactly the same degree, see all the photos, send all the messages you want, with dozens and hundreds of other global services that all your contacts, even tech-phobic grandma, already can super easily interact with.

I have never had a Facebook account, yet I still keep in touch with all the many contacts in my network from high school, college, past jobs, global extended family, immediate family, OSS project acquaintances, etc. etc. - all with zero Facebook.

This utterly false myth that Facebook is necessary, or even the slightest bit important or even useful, to keep in touch very closely with all the photos, comments, etc., really needs to die.

You can completely delete Facebook on a whim right now, and 100% of all that stuff is just as immediately, easily achievable right away with zero loss or deficiency from removing Facebook.

Whilst I agree with the sentiment, I disagree with the message.

If I don't message my sister via Facebook she won't see it. She doesn't do email for private stuff and she's not going to install another app.

If I don't message my mother via WhatsApp she's not going to get it. She doesn't understand what the fuss is and WhatsApp is already complicated for her.

I'd love to be able to message people with zero extra effort but the fact is it's a non-zero amount between us and in the end I'm the one who has to go the extra yard.

I know this because I've not had a FB account in over 7 years now. Facebook's not necessary but it sure as hell is easier.

This is just a lie Facebook wants you to feel. Your sister and mom care about you, they will easily prioritize their family member over specific apps.

I really feel comments like these come from people who haven't successfully actually quit Facebook. There's a real heavy cost to not being on Facebook and most people don't feel the dependency because they've convinced themselves they can quit at any time.

No, there is not a heavy cost. It’s just a perception and myth to keep more people reliant on Facebook.

How exactly do you think Facebook are telling me this lie?

You realize that I am speaking from experience not hypothetically; I don't have Facebook and there's been a marked decrease in both the number and frequency of messages from my family who rely on it.

I really wish this wasn't the case. The vendor lock-in with Facebook is really significant and I think those of us who leave the platform have to acknowledge that.

The sad part is that people tell this lie to themselves and resolve not to put forth any attempt to stay in touch, just accept “falloff” by others as evidence of Facebook lock-in. Facebook doesn’t even have to tell us this lie and use propaganda to convince us - we tell ourselves the lie!

Speaking as someone who never had Facebook, I’ve experienced zero loss of connection with anyone in many networks of family, friends, colleagues, etc. Just a simple email thread to share stories and photos here or there, phone calls, SMS text chats or other apps. It’s so easy and seamless to stay in touch with no part of it involving Facebook.

Reply on news.ycombinator.com