Hacker News Reader

Comment by reactspa | Hacker News Reader

Re: No fault divorce:

The concept of marriage in a tradition-based society like India has a completely different meaning than "let's voluntarily have a contract, and we can break it off any time we feel like it."

In order to protect the sanctity of marriage (straight or gay, I support both), the government must resist calls to make it easy to divorce. Divorce must be a painful, punishing process if society is to continue to take marriage seriously. (It must nevertheless be possible for either party in the marriage to initiate a divorce to completion. That's non-negotiable.)

Just my view on this subject. And I accept that others with different experiences than mine may have different views.

View on HN

Divorce should be easy. Marriage is not which needs protection and government meddling. Two consenting adults should choose to live together or apart as they feel fit. I would resist any call to make the government a part of our personal lives. Dangerous proposition to say the list with no limit to when we can draw the line.

I don't see why marriage should be a legal process "provided" by the state. People from different cultural and personal backgrounds have differing views on marriage. You think divorce should be difficult so that people take marriage seriously, but there are likely many others in your country that would vehemently disagree. Even the choice of words, "sanctity", suggests to me that marriage would be better served as a purely religious ceremony. The government can then provide the legal aspects of today's marriage in some kind of "registered partnership", which would have none of the cultural baggage and be purely functional.

> Divorce must be a painful, punishing process if society is to continue to take marriage seriously.

This might increase unhappy people stuck in a marriage, which likely won’t make the society take marriage seriously; the opposite seems true.

There are so many horror stories of people committing suicide because of the anguish caused by husband/wife. If you're married, it's up to you to maintain its sanctity. Don't expect anyone else to care about your marriage. Least of all, our incredibly corrupt government machinery. "No fault divorce" spares the suffering spouse from having to legally prove a lot of things that happen in private.

Can't a tradition based society just use tradition to keep divorce painful and punish those that do it? Like the core aspect of a wedding is to bring everyone you know together so you can tell them all at the same time "I promise to stick to this person". If you want that to have weight then just treat it like it has weight. Shame your friends in to staying married if they talk about considering divorce, and shun those that go through with it anyway.

I understand the concept of having different views of how serious of a commitment marriage should be, but I don't understand why "I want things to be this way" automatically means "the government should make things this way". They're the scariest institution that exists because of the overwhelming power they wield. Hell, they're largely defined by it. Bringing the government in to play for every little thing seems to me like buttering your bread with a scimitar.

How about make marriage harder to get and divorce easy? That way people don’t get married without earnestly wanting it and don’t get trapped in agonizing mistakes.

At least, make them equally easy.

It's just so strange that marriage is super easy. Divorce is like several months of processes (even both sides are amicable).

Hey, It's already harder in that it takes lot of money to get married)

This promotes a system where the only reason anyone would get married is for a minor tax break or protection in a law suit

You have to remember the enormous social pressure to get married in India.

I don't necessarily agree with OP on it should be complicated , however there won't be any danger of reduction in legal marriages

> In order to protect the sanctity of marriage (straight or gay, I support both), the government must resist calls to make it easy to divorce. Divorce must be a painful, punishing process if society is to continue to take marriage seriously.

Yes, that's why it needs to be easy to divorce.

Reply on news.ycombinator.com