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Exactly. I have 5 kids, and each one is so different.

My oldest loves programming, my middle child couldn't care less. They've been exposed similarly.

I think it's more nature than nurture personally.

As my younger brother told me once, “Remember, the ‘nurture’ you got was different than the ‘nurture’ I got, simply because you were around.”

My older kid explicitly declined to pick up a hobby that she seemed to be interested in because, “oh, that’s $YOUNGERSIB’s thing.”

Some days ago I found a comment here in HN talking exactly about that, how siblings want to differentiate from each other. It would be nice if someone finds an actual research paper that delves into this.

My favorite analogy about being a parent is that children are like a tightly furled lotus buds, and our job as parents is to give them the room to unfurl into the unique flowers they are, rather than clay to be molded into whatever form we see fit.

Molding them to follow your passions may seem to work initially - kids naturally want to please their parents - and it certainly could happen to align with their personal excellence, but it can also ultimately rob them from developing their own unique talents.

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