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Try syncthing

I've been using it for years to sync files between all my devices

I have setup a syncthing to dump data from my devices onto a staging server which nightly backups everything onto Wasabi using encrypted target with an rclone though any targets that rclone supports would work.

The only thing that I have not figured out how to backup is photos from wife's iphone. I guess I'm going to bite the bullet, buy a mac and do her phone to her icloud, from her icloud to a mac and from that mac to synthing to the staging server.

I have also brought up an edge server that acts as an on the fly decryption proxy to a different Wasabi bucket where I drop files I want to share.

There are third party commercial apps for importing data from/to iPhone for Windows and Mac (iMazing is one of those). If you don’t prefer that, you can also avoid iCloud storage as a go between by getting photos directly from the iPhone to the Mac by using a cable to connect them and importing photos using Image Capture or Photos.

I kind of want it to "just work" with no work on iPhone user's side

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