I can relate - I am about to get married, kids will follow soon, and I am already anxious. I have a couple of ideas for indie hacker-type side hustles but not enough time bc I am prepping for tech interviews at FAANGs.
get a 15-yr mortgage. the 30-yr one is a scam. Buy a small condo, hopefully work remote from lower COL (Sacramento even). Live small for a few years, then upgrade incrementally over time. Most importantly, don't max out your budget, especially in rent/30-yr mortgage situation.