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Comment by throwawayA666 | Hacker News Reader

I find women to be too shallow.

But I don't feel anger towards women or feel upset about it, rather I devote my life to the things I enjoy doing.

You should probably meet more/different women then. Or at the very least you should know that there are many women who are not shallow.

The funny thing is that there are both:

- communities of men who think women are shallow (they spend all their time on instagram, they only care about their looks and about how wealthy and good looking their partner is);

- communities of women who think men are shallow (they only want to fuck, they don't care about you at all, they spend more time on their cars than on their girlfriends).

Both communities are wrong.

I don't use any social network besides linkedin, reddit and hn if the last one counts as a social network, spending an average of 45 minutes on all of them each week.

But you're right not all of them is, but the majority I have meet country wide are from all the professions one can think of and all the life backgrounds you can imagine.

> communities of women who think men are shallow (they only want to fuck, they don't care about you at all, they spend more time on their cars than on their girlfriends).

Because most of them are ignoring nice guys, at least while the women are in their 20-s. The book "Land of the Losers" nailed it.

It's certainly not the case that women think all men are shallow, but any woman who has been on any dating app will tell you that she has met a lot of creeps. Men who open the conversation with "DTF?" are a daily occurrence.

There's a certain survivorship bias there: such men don't get removed from the market. Men genuinely seeking long term commitments, or even medium term ones, will often find them and leave.

> It's certainly not the case that women think all men are shallow

Some women do do. That was the one and only point of my comment: to show that there are both men and women who fall prey to the exact same inductive fallacy.

I kinda understand you. Most women don't interest me as well. It takes more than a hot body and a pretty face. It takes a hot mind and/or a warm heart for me. Contrast this with most of my friends. They're all easily satisfied. If the girl is dumb and hot, they're game.

What makes you think that's what most women want? By that logic wouldn't most men want something as superficial? Also there are a lot of smart women out there...what is your reasoning for not being with those types?

I won’t paint with that broad of a brush, but I will say I find most people in general on dating apps to be boring and formulaic.

Not to say that they necessarily are, and to be fair, almost all dating app advice I’ve seen comes down to building a copy/paste format. I’ve seen a a few apps that seem entirely populated by people a certain “archetype” in my area.

Yea there's a prevailing notion being pushed nowadays that women are the exact same as men but magically better.

Add in the moral panic surrounding consent and sex, and you get a chilling effect on courtship and socializing.

What incentive do men have to interact with women, when the social climate makes it a tight-rope walk where even the slightest false impression of impropriety will forever destroy your reputation?

Especially when you can get off to porn? Sorry, it's obvious why things are the way they are and only politically invested types would care to argue otherwise.

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